What Day is it, Anyway? January 3, 2012

Posted by azoasis8 in Uncategorized.
2 comments

Since being on “Vacation,” I use the term loosely, as I have worked quite a bit from home during my “Time off,” I have lost track of the days several times.  If I didn’t have a pill-box for my daily medications, I’d never know what day it was!  I am ready to return to a normal schedule!

I need a hair cut.  It’s been three years since I had anything done to it, and the ends are fried and breaking off.  I’m not sure if I will go really short again, or let it grow for a another year or so before getting it all cut off again.  It’s down to the middle of my back right now.  Maybe just a trim with some long layers cut in.  Such decisions.  (Haha!)

I’m preparing to start a Medical Coding and Billing class.  Seems ironic since I have been doing coding for over 8 years, and billing for three.  Nothing like putting the cart before the horse.   There’s still plenty to learn, since I learned all I know on my own – and this way I can take my certification tests.  I’m looking forward to it,  actually.  I need to order my books today and I will be good to go for the Feb 1st start date.  I should be certified by the end of May.

Here at home we’ve been in the “We need to get this taken care of” stage.  Yesterday Hub fixed my broken couch (All the screws came out of one end of the hide-a-bed, so the seating was unsupported.  It’s no wonder, they used flimsy 1 inch  dry-wall type screws to support the bed and the weight of whom ever is sitting on it!  Hub replaced them (On both ends) with much thicker and stronger screws, and we are once again able to practice couch potatery in comfort.  

We also trimmed up the Lantana and natal plum bushes, pulled out a dead bush morning glory, and weeded the rock gardens.  We wish we could re-landscape the front rock beds, however that would mean getting HOA approval, and eh.  Who needs the hassle?  I swept the leaves from the Chinese Elm into a pile – it’s impossible to rake in the rocks, and the broom actually worked quite well.  I’m sure the spying neighbors thought I was nuts, but I don’t own a decent leaf blower/vacuum.  I think I’ll put that at the top of the “Buy this soon” list.  We need to plan out how we are going to finish the patio extension, and buy a few tons of gravel to finish off the xeri-scaping of the back yard.  Fun stuff.  I haven’t mentioned to the Hub yet that I also want the extension to have a path back to the raised bed planter, and the eventual bench between the ash trees, but I can work that in rather easily, I think.  I hope.  I want.  Heh.

My little Zippy (My beloved Escape) had to go in for servicing of the emissions system on Thursday.  It’s the first time I’ve had to have anything worked on – and heavens to Betsy, it was dear to my wallet!  Hub couldn’t fix the problem as he would have had to pull the entire engine out to reach the problem area.  We just aren’t set up for that any more.  Speaking of which (i.e. working on things in the garage … ) once the eldest son gets moved into his new house we are going to ask if he can please remove his items from a.) the garage, b.) my craft room, c.) the loft, and while he’s at it, take your little brother’s stuff and store it in your garage so Hub can once again work on his motorcycle to get it road worthy.  Ugh!  We are so tired of our home being over-run with our adult children’s belongings.  It’s already old that the middle son and his children live here, and all their belongings fill the two spare rooms, my craft room and half the garage and the entire loft.  The other bits and pieces from the other two boys is just growing old now.  Get your stuff or we get rid of it.

What happened to being empty nesters?  Does it even exist any more?  It looks like we’ll be having “house guests” for the next several years, and quite frankly, it’s not something we are looking forward to.  Sure I love having the grandchildren in close proximity, but across the street would be even better!   With the exception of about 18 months, the oldest grandchild has lived with us her entire life.  Perhaps if we had a family compound living arrangement this would have worked out fine, but we built our house thinking the older two had moved out for good, and the youngest only had a few years left in school.  The house isn’t big enough for three adults and two growing children.  I guess we just have to make due with the situation that we’ve been handed.  That cabin in the woods is looking better and better.  Oh, to dream!

I’ve got to log on to my work computer and get busy.  Sigh.  I can’t imagine what it would be like to REALLY have a vacation from work.

~~K~~

 

 

New Year … New Posts? January 2, 2012

Posted by azoasis8 in Uncategorized.
1 comment so far

Welcome 2012! I’d like to get back into journaling, on a more regular schedule. Hopefully I can make the time to do this in 2012. Life is ever changing and I haven’t been as committed to jotting it all down the past few years.

There’s 45 minutes lost. March 28, 2011

Posted by azoasis8 in Uncategorized.
add a comment

Just typed out an entry – POOF!  It’s gone.  Grrrr.

I Really Should Post More Often … February 21, 2011

Posted by azoasis8 in Uncategorized.
add a comment

Wow!  I can’t believe it’s been so long since I posted.  So much to tell, so little time!

I suppose it’s not news anymore to those who may know me in “Real life” and I couldn’t really say anything the last time I wrote, so … here goes.

One morning after Dee tried to drop the kids off here and Bub had had enough of her histrionics and fake tears, she started to drive away while he was unbuckling his son’s seatbelt.  He’s half in the car, his son is half out of the car and she literally stomps on the gas and pulls away.  The door is wide open, the “Baby” is unbuckled and she’s driving like a mad woman while bawling like a spoiled brat in the throes of a major tantrum.  Hello accident waiting to happen!

Bub came in and told us the entire story:  She’d been cheating on him with multiple partners for the majority of the time he was off fighting a war, and she continued to cheat on him once he came back from the war and was in Texas.  She cheated when she moved back to Texas (Against his wishes, because – hello – he was moving back home in a few months.  Remember – what she wants she gets, come hell or high water.  Selfish bitch.)  Even once he moved back home here, she cheated.  She, at the time this happened, had three boyfriends.  Three booty callers.  She ran to them everytime they called.   When she found out he had told us everything she threatened suicide.  “They are my only family!  Why would you tell them?  Now they are all going to hate me!”  How right you are, little lady.  The brothers (Myother two sons) won’t have anything to do with her and are very unforgiving.  Especially the one who was asked to babysit so she could “Go to work.”   (Supposedly babysitting for a friend, at all hours of the night.)  I think he feels guilty because he was “Allowing” her to cheat on his brother, though he had no way of knowing that.

Please keep in mind that we were supporting her lazy ass the entire time she lived with us.  She didn’t work, she had Bub’s income – and spent it all and then some – and never offered us a dime to help for the doubled utilities, meals, etc.  She opened up credit cards under his name because she had a temporary power of attorney, and ran them to the max and never made payments on them.  She’s entitled, dontcha know?  She’s a Princess in America, and gee – make payments on her debts – “What’s that?”  She never missed a car or insurance payment, because that could mean losing her mode of transportation to meet her nasty booty calls.  That’s about all she paid for, though.  Oh, and fast food for the kids for the two meals she provided for them per day.  Pancakes and hash browns should definately be the morning breakfast for every young child most every day, no?  Processed chicken nuggets and fries for lunch?  “YAY! GO MOM!”

Anyway, she continues with the lies, she continues being a self centered whore and sleeping with anything that has a dangling bit between his legs.  Bub has told her numerous times he does not wish to “Try again” as she puts it, that he never wants to be with her, or sleep with her, or live under the same roof, so she finds a way to place the blame on him.  When he recently told her she needed to find a job ASAP because he was no longer going to provide her rent/grocery money (Yesss, she quit the TWO jobs she had.  Smart gal, I’ll tell ya!) she came back with “Why are you doing this to me?  You’re the one who doesn’t want to get back together!  The apartment isn’t just for the me, it’s for the kids to have a place to go!”  He responds with “They have a place to go.  They are happy here.  Go live with your mom, that’s a place to go!”  (She has not told her mother anything.  Her family is completely in the dark about the whole situation.)  She didn’t like that explanation.  She said “I’ve said I’m sorry a hundred times, what more do you want from me?”  He replied, “Absolutely nothing.”  Good boy.

She now has a “Record” because of a car accident she was in two weeks ago, where she hit a guy on a motorcycle, supposedly because someone rear-ended her – strange, no damage to her car (??) anyway she got cited for not wearing her glasses, her tags were expired, and she hadn’t done emission testing on her vehicle.  She had court on Friday, but we don’t know what the outcome was.  Bub says he doesn’t care enough to ask about it.  I hope the fine was hefty.  Karma.  I didn’t know that driving without your glasses was a criminal offense though.  Learn something new every day!  The cop also told her that her daughter was too big for her car seat and she needs to buy a new one.  

Supposedly Dee is going to join the Army.  She was telling the kids she was taking them and moving “Far, far away from here.”  Bub nipped that in the bud.  The kids are not going anywhere.  The kids have complained that when they are at their mom’s she sleeps all day.  She doesn’t play with them.  Her “Friends” stay the night.   She doesn’t put the kids to bed on time, and she often doesn’t keep them for more than a few hours at a time.  SOMETHING always comes up.  A sick friend, an interview for a non-exisitant hopeful job, or she got called in on her day off when she had already quit the job.  Does she think we are stupid??  If she’s going to join the Army, then join already!  Go!  Quit talking about it and take action.  We’re pretty sure once she joins, she will be so consumed with the plethora of men to pick from that she will forget all about her life/children here.  IF she joins.  I am praying she does.  It’s terrible to hope for that, because no child deserves an absent parent, but the grandchildren are better off without her.  She constantly disappoints them, and when they ask “Why does mommy have to hang out with her friends, why can’t she hang out with us?”  (Direct quote) it’s a pretty sorry state of affairs. 

I know I sound (Am) bitter, and there’s the whole “Three sides to the story,” but it really is as bad as I make it out to be, if not worse because I am leaving out some details.  I am trying to move past the anger, and I have managed to let some of it go.  I’m not used to being such an angry person, it’s hard to cope with these feelings.  I don’t like feeling hateful and vindictive and wanting revenge so badly.  There’s so much more to tell, like the second time she tried to run Bub over, or the secret facebook page, or the lies she’s been caught telling.  I find myself having to “Center” at odd times during the day just to get her/her lies/her deceit out of my brain.  I just want to be peaceful and calm again.  The turmoil is sometimes unbearable, and I don’t like the person I am sometimes because of my rage towards her.  (I have not seen or spoken to her since she moved out in September, except one time on the phone, the day she tried to run Bub over the first time.  She called - over 40 times - until I finally answered the phone, to have him yell at the kids for misbehaving – I told her she needed to grow the hell up and learn to discipline HER children.  That’s how she found out he had told us the whole story.) I know I can’t allow anyone to hurt me without my consent, I’m just having a difficult time giving myself permission to NOT feel the hurt and rage.  I need to remember it’s not my problem, it’s her problem … but letting go of that has been trying. 

Moving right along.

The job situation has improved.  Shortly after my last post was written, probably within a week, Girl B gave notice that she would be leaving and returning back home to be closer to her parents.  The stress level has decreased tremendously, but also increased in the job load department!  Girl A and I are doing the jobs of seven former employees – meaning that at one point in time there were seven people working in the office at the same time, and we are handling the entire workload on our own.  It’s sometimes overwhelming, but it also makes the days just fly by, as we are never idle enough to be bored.  We work through lunch almost every day, and we often have plenty of take home work.   I probably should be doing work that I need to catch up on at this very moment but hey – it’s a holiday.  Doesn’t a girl deserve some time off?

We have been taking off for Flagstaff on a fairly regular basis, at least once a month.  We really enjoy our time there, and it’s always fun to spend time with Gun and his girl.  We were supposed to be heading up that way yesterday with the whole family in tow.  We had rented an A-frame cabin so we could all stay together, but the snow storm was worse than we thought it would be, the roads too treacherous,  so we couldn’t make it up for “Family weekend” as the grandkids were calling it.  They were SO excited to get to play in the snow, and make snowmen, and throw some snowballs at their daddy!  We were going to take Gun grocery shopping, and I felt so bad yesterday when he and I were texting and he said “I’m hungry.”  I asked what he had in the house to eat, and he replied “Some noodles and one bagel, peanut butter, cream cheese, bread and some chili.”  I told him to make chili mac, or melt the cream cheese in the chili and serve it over toast.  I told him it’s amazing what tasted good when you’re hungry, and that hunger was the basis for new recipes.  He felt inspired and ate a can of vienna’s while pondering making the chili-cream cheese meal.  Poor kid.  He’s lost so much weight while he’s been living up there, it’s kinda frightening.  He walks/bikes to work, school and grocery shopping.  When we go up we always take them shopping so they can buy a bit more than they usually can when biking it.  They probably haven’t been shopping since we visited them the end of January.  I do worry about him because he is so gaunt it’s almost alarming.  Maybe I will go online and order them a package from Net Grocer.  That would be a nice surprise for them!

Our oldest and his wife are expecting a baby in mid- August.  They will find out in a week or two what sex it is.  Robyn and I are kinda/sorta hoping for a girl, while Ror is adamant it’s a boy cooking in there.  Baby names so far are Emalith Rose for a girl and Devin Jimi for a boy.  I’m not very successful at guessing the sex of an unborn baby, except my own, so I can’t say with any conviction what I “think” it might be.  Bub, on the other hand has been correct 100% of the time, but he won’t give us a clue to what he thinks it is, because he says there’s always a first time to be wrong.   Haha!

I’m thinking about trying to make a trip home in the spring sometime, barring the need for foot surgery getting in the way.  I’ve got a fallen bone in one foot which is becoming more and more painful, and plantar fibromytosis in the other foot, which is continuing to grow and makes wearing my orthotic shoe inserts (Necessary for the fallen bone in the other foot) rather painful.  I can’t just remove the orthotic from the one shoe, as then one leg would be “Longer” than the other one and would cause back pain.  Who needs back pain??  So I’m thinking one foot or the other is probably going to require surgery.  The plantar fibromytosis can be treated with steroid injections, but I had those in my shoulder and gained 28 pounds in ten days, so I vowed never to get another steroid shot unless impending death was the option for refusing said injection.  Sigh.  I’d really just like to go home and see some old friends, help my mom with some things and visit with my sister.    I’ve been missing home an awful lot lately, and often dream about at least moving closer to home.  Eventually.  Maybe.  I can’t imagine being that far away from my children, though.  Catch-22!

I guess that’s it for today – I’m going to hang out with Robyn and get in some retail therapy!  We’re checking out some second hand shops and a new to us home decorating store.

~~K~

Ugh! An Emotional Day. August 20, 2010

Posted by azoasis8 in Uncategorized.
add a comment

I just spent the past 45 minutes crying, talking to my husband and venting.  I’m feeling very emotional today, and kinda “Off” though I can’t put my finger on what the matter is.  Don’t really feel sick, just don’t feel “Right.”  I’m emotional because of issues at work, issues at home, and injecting HCG everyday and being on the diet again probably doesn’t help.  HCG, is, after all, the pregnancy hormone.  Have you ever met a pregnant woman who wasn’t emotional?!  (More on the HCG later.)

Anyway, where to start??

Got home from work yesterday, sat outside talking to Bub.  He told me that he wanted to transfer to Glendale Community College next semester, because it’s closer than University of Phoenix.  I said, “Well, it is now, but if y’all move to those apartments over on McDowell, it won’t be any closer!”  and he said “Actually… D** is moving into those apartments tomorrow.  I’m staying here.”  (I am going to avoid using her name so a search for her name doesn’t bring anyone here.)  You can imagine my surprise!

On the one hand, you never wish for your children to be in bad relationships, especially bad marriages.  I asked if it was a trial separation, and he said “Sorta.”  I am getting the notion she doesn’t really think it’s a separation at all – that this is just more convenient for the time being until they can afford a two bedroom apt.  She rented a one bedroom.  Why?  If the four of them were planning on moving out (Which they were) why in the heck would you rent a ONE bedroom for 4 people?  (Because a two bedroom is too expensive.  Bada-bing!)  When Bub found out it was a one bedroom he told her no way was he moving into a one bedroom apartment with her- and it’s not like he could move in, anyway – the apartment manager reminded them the maximum occupancy is THREE people in a one bedroom.  Gee.  I’m sure she knew that when she rented! 

On the other hand … less stress.  A happier son.  Less frustration. 

There’s so much more in this twisted tale, that I am either too drained to write about, or not really at liberty to discuss in a public forum.  It’s such a mess, and all outcomes of this situation can be considered “Unknown.”   She is supposedly taking the kids with her, however, IF she gets to keep her job, they will be spending the nights she works here, as she gets off work after they are all ready asleep.  

Did you see that big IF?  Yeah, she rented an apartment while she is suspended from work, and unsure if she’ll be able to keep her job once the suspension is over on the 23rd.  Smart move.  Really smart move, Sherlock.  I’ve said it before and unless an act of God changes her, I’ll say it until my dying day:  It’s all about her, and she doesn’t give a damn how/why/who/what it takes to get what she wants.  No matter if your husband says “No!”  Do it anyway.  Story of her life there.  Her motto must be “Just Do It.” 

Bub said he told her he will not “Babysit” the children all the time on “Her” nights because she wants to go out, either.  I’m thinking it won’t matter much.  She’ll just go out (Or entertain at home) on her work nights.  She will only have two “Her” nights a week, anyway, if she keeps her job.  Works out perfectly for her.

She says she is going to continue to take him to school every day, picking up the kids when she picks him up, and then leaving the kids here with him when she drops him off after school.  (I am thinking that’s not going to last long.  “I’m too tired to drive you.  I don’t feel good.  The moon isn’t in the right place.”)  That generally means they will be with their daddy ~20 hours a day five days a week.  That’s not much “Mommy and me” time for the poor kids.  She’ll only have four hours a day to snipe at them, ignore them, and sleep while the television babysits the children.

It suddenly hits me.  That’s why it’s just a one bedroom.  She doesn’t need a bigger place if her kids are going to be here most of the time.  I’m sure she feels the kids will be burdening her enjoying plenty of time with her. 

I’m sorry if I sound bitter, sarcastic and just a smidge angry.  I suppose I am all three!

It’s convoluted, too, because I said she doesn’t seem to think it’s a separation, yet, it seems that is what she wants, since renting only a one bedroom, ya know?   I think my brain is just too foggy from being emotional, so I apologize ahead of time if this post is full of contradictions.

Enough about that mess!

Work.  Double ugh.  We’ve been trying to get the one gal in the office to do a tiny bit more than answer the phone/schedule appointments, play on Facebook and text everyone under the sun all day.  Girl A is entirely overwhelmed with all she has to get done in a day, along with answering the phone and scheduling appointments, too – yet Girl B never offers to help, just throws everything on Girl A’s desk.  They are both full-time.  I am entirely overwhelmed with all that’s on my desk and I too, answer the phone and schedule appointments if one of the other girls is busy with other things, and I am only part-time.  (Technically, full-time, as I work 30 hours a week, and anything over that is [illegal] “Rollover” hours for me, since we can’t get overtime, though each pay period I have well over my sixty hours.)  I go to work an hour early just so I can clean the office and restock the doc’s room, and Girl A doesn’t think that’s right, she thinks we all should share the chores, however Girl B never gets in early enough to sign in the first patient, much less help me clean!  Girl A will often help me, and does her fair share on the days she can.  So Girl A and I conferred and came up with a cleaning schedule last Monday.  Monday’s are my day to clean before work, Tuesdays are Girl B’s day, Wednesdays are Girl A’s and Thursdays we do a deep clean together.  Immediately after Girl A (The office manager) lays down the law, Girl B says, “Well, you both can clean whenever you want, but I clean up on Monday and Tuesday afternoons.” (Which … she does not!!! If she did, I wouldn’t have to clean every morning – the trash is never emptied, the dusting never done … etc)  Um.  No.  The office manager repeated the new schedule.  Tuesday morning, on her day to clean, she doesn’t roll in until ten minutes after the first three patients arrive, so I was left to get the Doc’s room clean, restocked, and get her paperwork done so the patients can sign in!  If I refuse to do my morning routine (Even though now, technically, it’s not just my responsibility) I look bad- like I’m not a “Team player” and like I am unwilling to give a helping hand.    It’s like a Catch -22.  If I complain that she’s not helping or doing her part, then I can be labeled a troublemaker, or a whistle-blower.  Argh!  I love her to death as a person.  Not so much as a fellow “Employee.”  (Quotes because, seriously, how much work is she really doing??)  On Thursday, Girl A and I deep cleaned by ourselves.  Is anyone surprised?  We weren’t. 

Girl A and I only wish we had a moment’s time to log onto FB and update a status or comment on 300+ Most Recent comments.  We both work through our lunch hour most days, just to attempt to get our work done.

We’ve tried to talk to the boss, but he can’t believe Girl B really acts like that (Oh, and by the way, Girl B told the doc since he can’t give her a raise so she can afford an apartment, she was moving in with him.  AND SHE DID!!  Manipulate much?)  and told us it was something we were going to have to figure out amongst ourselves.    The boss does not realize that Girl A and I are carrying Girl B’s dead weight, yet we can’t refuse to do so, as that, again, makes us look bad and not her!  Here’s another sticky point, too.  I have worked for Doc for four years, though the first 3 years just from home, or occasionally in the office.  Girl A has been there 2 years, and is office manager.  Girl B has been there since January 2010.  I took a pay cut when he was in financial dire straits, and Girl A had been promoted to office manager and was promised a raise.  I was promised my old salary would be restored ASAP.  Girl B whines that she’s not making enough to pay her rent, and she gets a raise – leaving her to earn more than Girl A who is the office managerrrrrrrr, and me, who has been there four years!  We finally confronted him, but only when he asked “How is everything, really?” when we were at a staff meeting that Girl B was too busy to attend.  We told him we were offended, and why, and he gave us each a raise to equal Girl B’s pay.  She does so little work around the office, though, that we still don’t feel she should earn the same salary as those of us who have been there much longer and work much, much harder.

Oh, I could go on for eons about the crappy office politics where Girl B is concerned, but quite frankly, it’s giving me a headache and turning my stomach.  I think eventually Girl B will move on, so Girl A and I will just tolerate this for a while longer and bitch amongst ourselves.

I had a net meeting for 3.5 hours this morning about a potential new job.  Mr F, who was our biller when I worked with Doc K, called me and asked if I would consider doing some billing for another doctor here in town.  Mr F has started selling an EMR (Electronic Medical Records system, for those not in the know) and is trying to get a doctor here in town to buy the system, which the doc is interesting in using, but would prefer to have a local biller.  He is unhappy with his current biller, so Mr F thought of me.  He said if he can get the doc to sign on with this EMR system, would I want to do the billing?  Sure.  Billing is easy peasy lemon squeezy, as the diagnosis codes are provided, all you do is scrub the claim and send it on to the billing clearinghouse.  (I do coding and billing at my current job.)  Mr F said I could easily do his 150+ bills in a couple of hours two or three times a week.  You get paid per bill, not per hour, so since it is literally a 30 second or less scrub/send process with this new EMR, it’s quite do-able, and it’s also a fall-back in case something should happen to my current job.  I am feeling a bit of enthusiasm over this potential job, so I am hoping he can sell the product to him.  (Mr F lives in California.  I might have to go out for a visit so he can teach me the intricacies of the system.  Nice little vacay, if I must say so.  Don’t be alarmed.  Mr F used to live here in town and I know him quite well, and we have an almost seven-year old friendship, so there’s nothing at all to be fearing for my safety or anything like that.  I know he’s not an axe mass murderer, so hush up and sit down. haha)  As an aside, I do not think “Seven-year old” friendship should have a hyphen, but spell check does.

The HCG.  I’m on the last half of my second round of the HCG weight loss program.  Normally it’s a 43 day round, but since I was supposed to have company two weeks ago, I split my round up, mainly so I could drink a beer while floating down the Salt River!  Some companies sell 23 day rounds, and we have done that as well, so I knew it wasn’t going to mess up my loss of weight, and damnit, I was looking forward to saying I had a beer on the Salt!  Ha!  Anyway, I’ve lost 45 pounds so far (Total) and just since Monday alone, five pounds.  I am unsure if I will do another full, or even half round, but I am leaning toward at least one more half round.  I think I could be happy leaving my weight alone after this round is over if I lose the additional 15 pounds as expected, but I also think I might be even happier if I can lose another 10 to 20 pounds the next half round would offer.  We shall see.  I was telling Girl A I wouldn’t be happy until I could see my collar bones.  I wonder if that will take more than 15 pounds?

Just a Thought:

I realize I have little room to bitch and moan and demonstrate such histrionics when so many other people have “it” so much worse than I do.  I can be dramatic.  I tend to get worked up over matters that I can’t control.  I worry myself sick at times, though I had gotten much better at contolling my worry-wartness until recently.  I think the stress of supporting an entire additional family for two years has finally broken the camel’s back.  (I also must admit since late April I no longer provide food for said family.)  I am, however, done worrying with the last period on this post.  It’s out of my hands and I need to remember (again) that worrying changes only one thing … my blood sugars.  I AM DONE.  (See that period?!)

8 August, 2010 09:29 August 8, 2010

Posted by azoasis8 in Uncategorized.
add a comment

8 August, 2010 09:25 August 8, 2010

Posted by azoasis8 in Uncategorized.
1 comment so far

Beautiful!