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Disappointed, and I Must Rant August 8, 2010

Posted by Rusty in Uncategorized.
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In the previous entry I mentioned that we had an old friend coming to visit, and we (Mostly ME) were looking forward to taking some vacation time.  He was first scheduled to be here in Phoenix on June 23rd.  We bought food, made plans, I took some vacation days.  The 23rd came and went, no phone call, no email, no text messages.  First, you worry.  He was supposed to be driving down here – did something happen?  (Typical I’m a mom worry – “Is he dead in a ditch on the side of the road??”) Then I thought maybe he was just spending some quality time with his daughter first, showing her the city, etc.  After two days I called.  He sputtered about plans had changed, there was this & that getting in the way, but!  “I have plane tickets for July 28th.  We will get in after 11pm, so I will call you first thing in the morning on the 29th.”

July 29th.  No word.  I called on July 31st.  He says “I told you I’d call when I got in town!  I’m still in Georgia, my son-in-law had to stay on the base a few days longer, he couldn’t leave.  I will be there on Tuesday.”  I told him I wished he had called me with the change of plans, as I had taken vacation days!  No “I’m sorry”” only “You did?”  Well, duh!  I told you I was taking vacation the first time you told me you were coming to town!  So, we are at two food bills, and two wasted vacation days.  I went back to work. 

“Tuesday” came and went.   Nothing.  Not a peep.  So I checked out his daughter’s FB page to see if she had posted anything like “Man, Fenix is awesome”   She had posted some updates, which told me that A.) He had never been stuck in Georgia, and B.) Just about everything he did say about these proposed trips were a bundle of bald-faced lies.  By this time, though, I wasn’t really expecting him to show, so I wasn’t too disappointed.  I did not call.  I will not call.  He’ll be lucky if we ever speak again, to be honest.  What kind of person does that shit?  If you make plans to go visit someone, is it not common courtesy to call and let them know your plans have changed?  It that too old-school? 

I would have much rather been disappointed by a phone call (Or, hell, even an impersonal email) that told me he just couldn’t make it here at this time, than to find out by not receiving an expected phone call.  Things happen, life gets in the way, I can so understand that.  I cannot, however, understand blatant silence. 

We have (Had??) plans for a huge weekend in November, to go with him and the co-owner of the Delco NASCAR team and sit with them in the suites at the race here.  I’m not even going to count on that happening.  That’s probably all a lie, too.  Maybe it will come into fruition, and if so, I will eat crow and apologize here.


In other frustrating situations, I have about had it with my daughter in law.  She acts like this is her private hotel, staffed with maids, babysitters and laundry facilities.  She treats my son like a virtual slave – and I am not exaggerating!  This is the fourth (YES, FOURTH) weekend in a row that she has been gone the entire weekend, leaving my son to take up the slack.  Now, this weekend, I must admit, she did take her son, but not her daughter (!) to a pool party.  (Gee, favoritism much?) so at least he got to spend a bit of time with her.  Those poor kids.  They never know when she leaves when she will get back.  Could be days (Which has been the case each weekend for the past month.)  She was gone all night (Which is not such a rare occurence around here, even during the week) but did just text my son and tell him to get the kids and get outside – she was waiting on them.  Ugh!  Get the kids ready yourself!  Get off your rear end and act like a mother/wife!!  My son asked me the other day how much a divorce would cost.

The real clincher, I suppose, is that my son tolerates it because he just doesn’t care.  He doesn’t want her to nag him, so he does nothing.  He needs to grow a pair and tell her if she wants to stay married, she needs to start acting like she’s married.  What would you think if your daughter in law was out all night, numerous times per week?  Affair?  Yep, that’s where my thinking is headed.  Why would I not think that?  There have been times she will get a phone call and leave in the middle of the night because someone “Needs help.”  Oh, right. 

I am about at the end of my rope, and I want to tell her that if she wants to act like a single woman, move back in with your mother and see how long you can get away with that behavior. 

On to a happier note – We are looking forward to our trip to Flagstaff next weekend.  We did try to rent a cabin, but they had all been rented out. There is a hotel on the same site as the cabins (It’s a recreation area that is owned by the Air Force base here.  This is why I love being military, even though we are retired.  Perks!) and we got a room there for the weekend.  The cabin would have been loads more fun, but we’ll know better next time and book well in advance.  I am actually thinking of renting a cabin for next summer while we are there this weekend.  Get it for a week and take the day trips they offer to the Grand Canyon, Sedona, and the other local touristy attractions, and then just chill for the rest of the week.  I am so excited to just be getting away from Phoenix for the weekend, and the bonus is we get to see our Flagstaff kids!

Speaking of the Flagstaff kids, they both finally got jobs this past week at K0hl’s.  Yay!  When we go to visit next weekend, though, Kristen  has to work Friday and Gun has to work Saturday.  That’s OK.  We’ll find plenty to keep us amused.  Gun is still trying for the job at S@m’s which has better hours/better pay.  He had to reschedule an interview, though, and left a message for the interviewer, who hasn’t called back yet.  I really wish they had a car, though.  I worry about them riding their bikes at night, especially Kristen.

My co-worker was in a fairly bad accident two weekends ago up in Flagstaff, and she’s been out of work for two weeks.  I am giving her most of my overtime hours so she will still get a paycheck, as is the other girl in the office.  Friday she was going back up to Flag to consult w/a doctor to see if she has to have surgery on her elbow.  I hope she’s just slow in healing, but her elbow was dislocated, and now she gets pins and needles/numbness if she so much as wiggles her fingers.  Poor thing.  She’s been battling her ex-husband over custody issues, too, so the girl is just a wreck at the moment.  I wish there was more I could do to help her out.  She had a court hearing last Thursday and it didn’t go well for her.  She was trying to get the girls in a school mid-way between her house and her ex’s house, so the commute wouldn’t be as bad on either of them, but the judge sided with her ex.  The school the girls currently attend is right across the street from his house, but it’s a 50 minute commute for her.  He refuses to meet in the middle to drop them off, or bring them to her house on her days, so it ends up that she has to do all the driving/commuting to see her girls.  On occasion he would bring the girls to our place of work and drop them off, but those occasions had been few and far between.  Divorce is such a messy issue.  She told me Friday she no longer believes in karma.  How sad is that?  I still believe, and I also believe that karma will come back to bite her ex in the behind – hard.  It might take a while, but what goes around always comes around.  He’ll get his just dues.  He refuses to take any responsibility for their daughter’s near drowning (She was dead for several minutes!!) too, and for that , alone, karma will take him down.  I will rejoice the day it does, too.  He’s a mean, wicked, conniving excuse of a human being.

My former boss is preparing for his move to another state, and in his preparation, he has been working on old medical claims he had yet to file on his patients.  His wife texted me that he was getting a ton submitted to insurance, and she was hoping to be able to catch up on ALL my back pay in a few weeks.  All of it?  Wow!  That’s like 16 or 17 paychecks!  We can get our new floors installed!  Finish up the landscaping and get the new patio poured!  Get our new kitchen sink … maybe even the countertops we have talked about replacing.  Yes!  I am looking forward to a large deposit, but I am not actually counting the chickens before they hatch.  I’ll believe it when I see it. 

Disappointment is a sort of bankruptcy – the bankruptcy of a soul that expends too much in hope and expectation.
~Eric Hoffer



1. Anne Allen - August 8, 2010

Kathy, WOW, you had every right to vent. The person who was a no-show is a NO friend. It’s his issues and don’t let him impose those issues on you ever again. Your days off are precious and not to be screwed with. As for you DIL….BEEN THERE/DONE THAT. It is awful watching grandkids suffer because of a parent. You will never change her but you can support your son. Emotional support is so important and Mothers have that, but sometimes it takes a third party to make things “click” just right. Divorces cost a lot, even if you don’t have any $$. Mothers hold the children hostage and fight over every single thing. My prayers go out to you and your situation with this. Nothing will ever get settled fast enough OR fair enough. Anne

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