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I Really Should Post More Often … February 21, 2011

Posted by Rusty in Uncategorized.
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Wow!  I can’t believe it’s been so long since I posted.  So much to tell, so little time!

I suppose it’s not news anymore to those who may know me in “Real life” and I couldn’t really say anything the last time I wrote, so … here goes.

One morning after Dee tried to drop the kids off here and Bub had had enough of her histrionics and fake tears, she started to drive away while he was unbuckling his son’s seatbelt.  He’s half in the car, his son is half out of the car and she literally stomps on the gas and pulls away.  The door is wide open, the “Baby” is unbuckled and she’s driving like a mad woman while bawling like a spoiled brat in the throes of a major tantrum.  Hello accident waiting to happen!

Bub came in and told us the entire story:  She’d been cheating on him with multiple partners for the majority of the time he was off fighting a war, and she continued to cheat on him once he came back from the war and was in Texas.  She cheated when she moved back to Texas (Against his wishes, because – hello – he was moving back home in a few months.  Remember – what she wants she gets, come hell or high water.  Selfish bitch.)  Even once he moved back home here, she cheated.  She, at the time this happened, had three boyfriends.  Three booty callers.  She ran to them everytime they called.   When she found out he had told us everything she threatened suicide.  “They are my only family!  Why would you tell them?  Now they are all going to hate me!”  How right you are, little lady.  The brothers (Myother two sons) won’t have anything to do with her and are very unforgiving.  Especially the one who was asked to babysit so she could “Go to work.”   (Supposedly babysitting for a friend, at all hours of the night.)  I think he feels guilty because he was “Allowing” her to cheat on his brother, though he had no way of knowing that.

Please keep in mind that we were supporting her lazy ass the entire time she lived with us.  She didn’t work, she had Bub’s income – and spent it all and then some – and never offered us a dime to help for the doubled utilities, meals, etc.  She opened up credit cards under his name because she had a temporary power of attorney, and ran them to the max and never made payments on them.  She’s entitled, dontcha know?  She’s a Princess in America, and gee – make payments on her debts – “What’s that?”  She never missed a car or insurance payment, because that could mean losing her mode of transportation to meet her nasty booty calls.  That’s about all she paid for, though.  Oh, and fast food for the kids for the two meals she provided for them per day.  Pancakes and hash browns should definately be the morning breakfast for every young child most every day, no?  Processed chicken nuggets and fries for lunch?  “YAY! GO MOM!”

Anyway, she continues with the lies, she continues being a self centered whore and sleeping with anything that has a dangling bit between his legs.  Bub has told her numerous times he does not wish to “Try again” as she puts it, that he never wants to be with her, or sleep with her, or live under the same roof, so she finds a way to place the blame on him.  When he recently told her she needed to find a job ASAP because he was no longer going to provide her rent/grocery money (Yesss, she quit the TWO jobs she had.  Smart gal, I’ll tell ya!) she came back with “Why are you doing this to me?  You’re the one who doesn’t want to get back together!  The apartment isn’t just for the me, it’s for the kids to have a place to go!”  He responds with “They have a place to go.  They are happy here.  Go live with your mom, that’s a place to go!”  (She has not told her mother anything.  Her family is completely in the dark about the whole situation.)  She didn’t like that explanation.  She said “I’ve said I’m sorry a hundred times, what more do you want from me?”  He replied, “Absolutely nothing.”  Good boy.

She now has a “Record” because of a car accident she was in two weeks ago, where she hit a guy on a motorcycle, supposedly because someone rear-ended her – strange, no damage to her car (??) anyway she got cited for not wearing her glasses, her tags were expired, and she hadn’t done emission testing on her vehicle.  She had court on Friday, but we don’t know what the outcome was.  Bub says he doesn’t care enough to ask about it.  I hope the fine was hefty.  Karma.  I didn’t know that driving without your glasses was a criminal offense though.  Learn something new every day!  The cop also told her that her daughter was too big for her car seat and she needs to buy a new one.  

Supposedly Dee is going to join the Army.  She was telling the kids she was taking them and moving “Far, far away from here.”  Bub nipped that in the bud.  The kids are not going anywhere.  The kids have complained that when they are at their mom’s she sleeps all day.  She doesn’t play with them.  Her “Friends” stay the night.   She doesn’t put the kids to bed on time, and she often doesn’t keep them for more than a few hours at a time.  SOMETHING always comes up.  A sick friend, an interview for a non-exisitant hopeful job, or she got called in on her day off when she had already quit the job.  Does she think we are stupid??  If she’s going to join the Army, then join already!  Go!  Quit talking about it and take action.  We’re pretty sure once she joins, she will be so consumed with the plethora of men to pick from that she will forget all about her life/children here.  IF she joins.  I am praying she does.  It’s terrible to hope for that, because no child deserves an absent parent, but the grandchildren are better off without her.  She constantly disappoints them, and when they ask “Why does mommy have to hang out with her friends, why can’t she hang out with us?”  (Direct quote) it’s a pretty sorry state of affairs. 

I know I sound (Am) bitter, and there’s the whole “Three sides to the story,” but it really is as bad as I make it out to be, if not worse because I am leaving out some details.  I am trying to move past the anger, and I have managed to let some of it go.  I’m not used to being such an angry person, it’s hard to cope with these feelings.  I don’t like feeling hateful and vindictive and wanting revenge so badly.  There’s so much more to tell, like the second time she tried to run Bub over, or the secret facebook page, or the lies she’s been caught telling.  I find myself having to “Center” at odd times during the day just to get her/her lies/her deceit out of my brain.  I just want to be peaceful and calm again.  The turmoil is sometimes unbearable, and I don’t like the person I am sometimes because of my rage towards her.  (I have not seen or spoken to her since she moved out in September, except one time on the phone, the day she tried to run Bub over the first time.  She called – over 40 times – until I finally answered the phone, to have him yell at the kids for misbehaving – I told her she needed to grow the hell up and learn to discipline HER children.  That’s how she found out he had told us the whole story.) I know I can’t allow anyone to hurt me without my consent, I’m just having a difficult time giving myself permission to NOT feel the hurt and rage.  I need to remember it’s not my problem, it’s her problem … but letting go of that has been trying. 

Moving right along.

The job situation has improved.  Shortly after my last post was written, probably within a week, Girl B gave notice that she would be leaving and returning back home to be closer to her parents.  The stress level has decreased tremendously, but also increased in the job load department!  Girl A and I are doing the jobs of seven former employees – meaning that at one point in time there were seven people working in the office at the same time, and we are handling the entire workload on our own.  It’s sometimes overwhelming, but it also makes the days just fly by, as we are never idle enough to be bored.  We work through lunch almost every day, and we often have plenty of take home work.   I probably should be doing work that I need to catch up on at this very moment but hey – it’s a holiday.  Doesn’t a girl deserve some time off?

We have been taking off for Flagstaff on a fairly regular basis, at least once a month.  We really enjoy our time there, and it’s always fun to spend time with Gun and his girl.  We were supposed to be heading up that way yesterday with the whole family in tow.  We had rented an A-frame cabin so we could all stay together, but the snow storm was worse than we thought it would be, the roads too treacherous,  so we couldn’t make it up for “Family weekend” as the grandkids were calling it.  They were SO excited to get to play in the snow, and make snowmen, and throw some snowballs at their daddy!  We were going to take Gun grocery shopping, and I felt so bad yesterday when he and I were texting and he said “I’m hungry.”  I asked what he had in the house to eat, and he replied “Some noodles and one bagel, peanut butter, cream cheese, bread and some chili.”  I told him to make chili mac, or melt the cream cheese in the chili and serve it over toast.  I told him it’s amazing what tasted good when you’re hungry, and that hunger was the basis for new recipes.  He felt inspired and ate a can of vienna’s while pondering making the chili-cream cheese meal.  Poor kid.  He’s lost so much weight while he’s been living up there, it’s kinda frightening.  He walks/bikes to work, school and grocery shopping.  When we go up we always take them shopping so they can buy a bit more than they usually can when biking it.  They probably haven’t been shopping since we visited them the end of January.  I do worry about him because he is so gaunt it’s almost alarming.  Maybe I will go online and order them a package from Net Grocer.  That would be a nice surprise for them!

Our oldest and his wife are expecting a baby in mid- August.  They will find out in a week or two what sex it is.  Robyn and I are kinda/sorta hoping for a girl, while Ror is adamant it’s a boy cooking in there.  Baby names so far are Emalith Rose for a girl and Devin Jimi for a boy.  I’m not very successful at guessing the sex of an unborn baby, except my own, so I can’t say with any conviction what I “think” it might be.  Bub, on the other hand has been correct 100% of the time, but he won’t give us a clue to what he thinks it is, because he says there’s always a first time to be wrong.   Haha!

I’m thinking about trying to make a trip home in the spring sometime, barring the need for foot surgery getting in the way.  I’ve got a fallen bone in one foot which is becoming more and more painful, and plantar fibromytosis in the other foot, which is continuing to grow and makes wearing my orthotic shoe inserts (Necessary for the fallen bone in the other foot) rather painful.  I can’t just remove the orthotic from the one shoe, as then one leg would be “Longer” than the other one and would cause back pain.  Who needs back pain??  So I’m thinking one foot or the other is probably going to require surgery.  The plantar fibromytosis can be treated with steroid injections, but I had those in my shoulder and gained 28 pounds in ten days, so I vowed never to get another steroid shot unless impending death was the option for refusing said injection.  Sigh.  I’d really just like to go home and see some old friends, help my mom with some things and visit with my sister.    I’ve been missing home an awful lot lately, and often dream about at least moving closer to home.  Eventually.  Maybe.  I can’t imagine being that far away from my children, though.  Catch-22!

I guess that’s it for today – I’m going to hang out with Robyn and get in some retail therapy!  We’re checking out some second hand shops and a new to us home decorating store.