Seriously?! January 27, 2014Posted by Rusty in Uncategorized.
Tags: appointments, bitching, bitter, family, fed up, gardening, grandmothering, housecleaning, knitting, multi-family living, not a family compound, suffocating, unhappy
Pancake mix plus water, stir, let sit for a minute or two. Cook six pancakes. Total time – what … ten minutes? That’s you or me. My daughter in law has been in the kitchen and/or eating for almost TWO HOURS. How freakin’ long does it take to eat three damn pancakes???? Over forty minutes on that aspect, alone.
I bitch. I bitch to myself, to my husband, to my other daughter in law, to my BFF; Really … any one who will listen!
I bitch because there are things I have wanted to do for three weeks that require some time in the kitchen – like, a few hours. The problem is, I cannot get a window of time that long. She eats every two hours, and it’s never a “Quick bite.” It’s a long drawn out process…… EVERY FREAKIN’ TIME.
I need to make some apple cinnamon jelly for a “Pay it forward” thing I signed up for (Send a gift to 5 people within the next 12 months, but if I don’t do it soon, I will forget!) and I also need to put together some soup in a jar for the same purpose. I’ve already knit two hoody scarves for the same project, (Since I can’t, ya know, get into the kitchen) but I want to get this other stuff done and over with. I have some homemade “No more cold hands or feet” salve I need to make before I no longer need it because it’s hot outside. (I’ve had those ingredients since before Christmas.)
OK – so I am not planning on doing it today (I am cleaning out/re-arranging my craft room, and moving in a huge wall unit from the living room, which means I have to clean that and the living room, too,) but I’m just making a point here.
That point would be MOVE YOUR ASS FASTER!
I’m not a horrible person, really. I just want my life back. I want my house back. I am tired of raising kids who are not mine. I want to be a grandmother, not a surrogate mother. If the spirit moves me, I want to get up and go in my kitchen and make something. Or clean something. Or stare at the freaking walls if that’s what I feel like doing. I want to put my pj’s on at seven pm and watch television in the loft, or downstairs, instead of being holed up in my bedroom, recluse-like.
I am becoming bitter and I hate feeling this way. I’m not enjoying my life.
I want to be able to spend time, alone, with my husband without having to leave our own home to do so. We have to make up excuses to leave the house to get our bearings, to get quiet time, to get to sit next to one another uninterrupted. It’s to the point we’d rather not be at home. How sad is that??
Thanks for listening, I feel better already!
Other things in my life: My podiatrist has referred me to a vascular surgeon for a diabetic eval. He said it’s only because I should have a yearly vascular exam because I am diabetic. I’m not sure what to expect, I’ve got to Google it to find out, I suspect. I do know I have to drink lots of water this week, as my appointment is next week and there will be some kind of ultrasound, and they said they want me well hydrated. I also have my yearly diabetic eye exam next week. I hate having my eyes dilated – I can’t see properly for hours and hours afterward.
I am knitting a very beautiful, full of awesomeness sweater for myself. I rarely knit anything for myself, but I saw this sweater and fell in love. I had to knit 13 inches of simple, but tiresome stockinette stitch, and it seemed like it took forever. Now I have another five inches of “ss” setting up pleats on the same panel. Ugh. One hundred seventy-six stitches back and forth – so boring! I just want to get to the fun part – cables!
I’m itching to get out and work in the gardens. I should get some seeds started indoors in the next few days. I’ve got some branches that need trimming, too.
I think breakfast is finally finished downstairs, so I need to go get some lunch …. while I can. Yeah, her breakfast is my lunchtime.