I’m SO Over It April 29, 2014Posted by Rusty in Uncategorized.
Tags: Angry, bitter, diabetes, exercise, family, Grandchildren, pneumonia, resentful, stressed, walking, weight loss
I’m tired of feeling bitter, resentful and angry. I don’t know how to change it, without moving out until my house is guest free. Being this way is not my norm, and it’s wearing me down.
I’m so over trying to make other people happy, helping and providing. I spent more money than I should have buying clothes for my granddaughter’s birthday. Her birthday was nearly three weeks ago, and only once has she worn any of the nice clothes I bought her. I’m documenting this here – I WILL NEVER BUY HER CLOTHES AGAIN. EVER. I’m plumb out of desire to waste my money. OK, i’m a horrid person for refusing to provide clothing, but why spend the cash if the clothes are relegated to the far end of the closet by my daughter in law? Ugh!
I’m hard pressed to be excited about the grandchild on the way. I feel badly about that, but at this point in time, it only means yet another person being brought into the house. The Hub doesn’t really want me to buy anything for the new wee one, either. He said “We already set up his first two kids.” It really ires us that this whole situation was not well thought out at all. The actions of our son effect not only him, his new wife and children, but the rest of the family, as well. He’s constantly needing rides here or there, and to work. He has no spare money to buy anything for this baby, or INSURANCE for prenatal care. The damn immigration paperwork was costly at over seventeen hundred dollars, which they had to take out a “Loan” with a credit card. Her temporary visa expired on the 24th, but supposedly as long as her immigration papers are submitted by that date, she’s OK. Why did it take six months to submit those???
Who the hell is going to pay for the birth of their child???
On to other things.
I had a diabetic check up on the 4th of the month. All was well there, my HbA1c dropped another few tenths of a point, and I was even taken off one of my diabetes meds. On that date, I had lost 8 pounds from being on this diabetic diet we are on, but I was also fairly ill with a hacking cough, which occured every time I took a breath. The doc was more concerned about my O2 sats being 91 than my diabetes, I think. She ordered a chest x-ray, gave me a breathing treatment (Which only made my O2 sats drop) and sent me on my way. Seven days later I got a call from her nurse saying I had pneumonia, and please come get a script waiting on me at the pharmacy. Why did it take a week to notify me??? This was Thursday night at almost 5 pm, and I had EVLT scheduled for my right leg at 8 am Friday morning, When I got to the vascular surgeon’s office, they canceled the procedure due to the pneumonia. (Sigh) The left leg was scheduled for the following Friday, and I did have that done. (May I just say O.U.C.H.) So, yesterday I went back to the doc for my follow up, and I still have pneumonia!! Another chest xray, some labwork, and more meds. Oh, and I lost 8 more pounds!
I’m still walking every week day morning. I love being outdoors! There are some really awesome birds at the park, too! A great blue heron, and a water fowl I saw this morning that I need to research – it was beautiful!