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It’s Too Damn Hot to Walk … June 24, 2014

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…but I did anyway.  Ninety six degrees at seven a.m.  Yesterday was just as steamy, but I actually increased my distance and decreased my time by more than two minutes!  I had a coffee date with my BBF (Best boy [that’s a] friend) and I got a later start than I had planned on (Procrastination much?) so I pushed myself fairly hard.  I felt pretty good afterwards, and really good after my cool shower.  Today I only did a little over two miles, instead of nearly 3,5 miles.  I was having trouble breathing (Allergies) and my hips were hurting.

The “Coffee date” was fun.  I brought over a low carb coconut cake (That is FABULOUS, btw) for them to enjoy later. (They live the low carb lifestyle, too.  I wasn’t forcing low carb goodies on them.)   We caught up on all the gossip, moaned and complained about other things, and laughed.  I so love to laugh!  I miss having girls that are friends to laugh with.

I went over to visit with my daughter in law in the evening.  What an eye opener.  We discussed my current adult female housemate (Clearing throat) and the not-so-nice things she has said about me.  One for instance:  Very shortly after she moved into our home AFTER WE INSISTED SHE COULD NOT LIVE HERE, she began throwing things away.  Cleaning the kids’ room – and tossing everything in sight.  My mother happens to buy the girl children very expensive, beautiful clothing, and has asked that they be passed down to the other girl children in the family, because they really are quite lovely and worthy of being passed on.  Well, I got upset when I saw some of those clothes in her “Give to charity” bags.  I voiced my opinion.  You don’t come uninvited into someone’s home and start chucking things out, and I don’t care if you are the Queen of England, it’s NOT RIGHT.  She told my DIL “She gets so upset about things, and I don’t know why.  She only cares about the clothes that she bought – They were old clothes, and USED” (With disgust in her voice.) – which did not sit well with my DIL, because she buys the majority of her daughter’s clothes used, from thrift stores.  Some of them still have the price tag on them, so what’s wrong with that, I ask??  This is a complete and utter mistruth, as it was not the (Ahem, NEW) clothes *I* bought for my granddaughter I was worried about, it was the clothes my mother bought.  Get your facts straight before you start a-bitchin’!!    Argh.  I’m not so sure I even like her, but this, and other info I got, is the icing on the cake.  Have fun buying your new infant clothing, because I certainly won’t be helping you with that. Neither will my mother, after she heard the above story, she also stated she would no longer be buying clothes for the children.  (I told my mom what happened soon after it occurred – I did not call her last night and tattle the story.)  There were other things said, too, that leads me to believe she is a rather deceptive person, and is fond of blowing smoke up people’s asses for entertainment.  We’ll see how far that gets you, princess.  Blow all the smoke you want, I now have my anti-smoke blower in place.  Heh.

Four days until (Maybe three if they leave on Friday – I am not privy to the information, I only get bits and pieces) we get our house back, cause they are moving on out.   We are so excited.  We’ll whisper to each other “__Number of__ days” and have giggle fits.  It’s going to be like a honeymoon for us.  After 30+ years of marriage we’ll finally be living alone!  It’s a damn good thing we get along.  Hahaha!  I asked The Hub if he had been asked to help move them out, and he said he hadn’t.  I haven’t either, and said I wasn’t so sure I would volunteer my time.  The Hub said “I will, if it gets them out of here faster.”  Please don’t misunderstand.  We love our children, with all our hearts and souls, we just don’t want to live with them any longer.  We feel very taken advantage of in this particular situation.  Moving a stranger into our home is not easy, especially a female stranger.  I’m not such ball of fun when forced to do something I am averse to.   I also don’t play well with others in my kitchen.  I acknowledge, and own, that I have not made things easy for this houseguest.  I didn’t want her to be here.  Yep, I have been a bitch at times.  My DIL said last night that my kitchen is the heart of our home, and that I spend many hours there doing what I love to do – cooking, trying new low carb recipes, even my crafting involves use of the kitchen.  To be unable to utilize my own home due to someone else being in my kitchen for literally hours on end has not been a pleasant experience.  I am so very, very ready to start this next, new phase of our lives.  Heaven forbid they can’t make it out on their own.  They won’t be welcome back, sad to say.

I’m still on that ugly plateau of weight loss.  I literally cannot eat any less, as I don’t eat a whole lot as it is.  I eat my required number of carbs per day (One carb serving per meal, one before bed) along with as much protein as I can manage to stuff down my gullet.  I drink well over 64 ounces of water per day.  I only have a diet soda once or twice a month.  I am pushing myself in the exercise department, too.  Why this never-ending plateau??  I’m tired of being stuck.  I’m not giving up, I’m just frustrated.  Any suggestions??  Could I not be eating enough?

Rant O’ the Day:
I don’t think one should spend hours on end declaring someone “Ugly” and “Fat,” especially if the declaring is being done to someone who is obese and, in my case, not so lovely to look at, either.  Saying “Not fat like you, you have curves” is not an acceptable qualifier.  I’m FAT.  I know it, I don’t try to deny it, and I am MUCH heavier than the person you are calling fat!!  Like … one of me is equal to two of her.  Look, if you “Don’t want to talk about her” because “It upsets me too much,” then don’t bring up the subject.  Really, you have no right to speak about her, anyway.  She was before your time.  She’s never “Done” anything to you.  You’ve never even met her.  You didn’t live the life – we all did, when she was in our lives.  When those around you are trying to change the subject, and do so successfully, don’t return to the subject time and time again.  Your insecurities are showing.  In all their nakedness, they are showing.  It’s not very flattering.  Yes, NONE of us like her.  None of us like to talk about her.  STOP TALKING ABOUT HER!!   Until the time that we become perfect, let’s not talk about those who are imperfect.  Thank you.  That is all.

 

 

 

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Oh Em Gee! Ther’s a Light at the End of the Tunnel! June 12, 2014

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First things first!  Our son finally got his license, AND a CAR!  Woo Hoo!!!!  This overjoys me.  Nearly brings me to my knees when I think about it.  I thank my Maker every day for this good fortune!  Secondly – they found an apartment!  They get the keys in a few weeks.  We are nearly giddy with the simple thought of it.  I have no idea how they are going to get along – with no dishes, pots, pans, furniture … etc.  Not my problem, I suppose.  I am SO HAPPY it is not my problem.  Go love them all, but I am just ready, so very, very ready to be an empty nester!

Onward.

So, I’ve still been exercising every week day morning.  Just the last two days I have increased my “Mileage” by nearly a mile!  It’s so freaking hot out, though.  When it’s 96º at seven a.m., you know it’s going to be a little rough.  I carry a 64 oz jug with me (Not only provides a much needed liquid refreshment, but a bit of an arm work-out, as well!) and this morning I drank the whole thing on my walk.  Here’s my problem.  My hips hurt so badly after every walk – all day, until I go to bed, and even then, sometimes, the pain won’t let me sleep or wakes me up.  I was trying to think of a way to describe it other than “My legs hurt,” so I can ask my Doc about it at my diabetes check next month, and I realized it isn’t a “Work-out hurt,” like, my muscles ache.  It’s my joints.  Mainly my hips, but I can feel some pelvic pain, as well.  I’ve not researched it at all, YET, but I need to.  I need to find out how to alleviate the pain, before my mind starts telling me not working out is better than living in pain. 

I haven’t lost any more weight, but my clothes continue to get bigger.  Must be something in the wash water stretching them out.  Heh.  Certainly couldn’t be me getting any smaller.  🙂 

As for the diet/exercise helping out the blood sugars – why must everything about me medically be such a mystery?!  The Hub’s HbA1c dropped a WHOLE point!!  He’s down in the “You’re doing excellent, we might take you off your drugs” range.  I go have my blood test next week for my appointment in early July, but my sugars are just as wacky as ever.  Exercise is supposed to make your sugars drop.  Nope.  Not me.  Mine actually rise.  Eating these very, very low carb servings is supposed to regulate your sugars.  Oh, boy.  Not me.  I range from way too low (57 this morning) to way too high 2 hours after a meal (160’s).  Some days are good.  Some days I fall just under the radar, and it makes me happy, but other days really suck!!  I had better results eating more carbs (We can have one carb serving , i.e. between 11-20 grams of carbs per meal) with other rules and restrictions about between meal snacks that I won’t go into right now.  Though I have eaten lower carb since I found out I had diabetes 10+ years ago, I was eating a few more carbs per day, and my sugars were lower.  My doc took me off one of my meds, though, and it’s been very difficult to fly within the limits of where my glucose readings should be.  It’s very strange, too, that one day I will do fine with a certain carb, yet another day I can eat the very same thing, and the sugars just soar above and beyond the “Cap.”  I just don’t get it!  It’s really discouraging, too, because this is the first diet I have ever been on (EVER) that I have not cheated, not even once!  I’m following the rules precisely, yet I don’t get the results promised.  The Hub does …. but I don’t.  Many times I have just wanted to give up, but I stick it out, hoping my body will finally realize the correct way to react.  Maybe.  Right? 

We’re going to take a little road trip in a few weeks to go see a dear friend of mine while she’s on a road trip to New Mexico.  She’s an “Online friend” but I’ve known her about 17 years.  OMG.  17 years.  I feel like I have already met her!  She’s got a court date for an accident that happened six years ago, and she’s nervous.  So we’re going to go and hold her hand and do some sight seeing.  Photo ops!  I’m too excited bout that aspect of it.  We need to get away.

OK, I know you’ve been waiting for it.  The bitchy rant.  Here it is, I don’t aim to disappoint!

If you need to be somewhere at eight a.m., leaving the house at ten minutes past eight isn’t going to get you there on time.  Any time you do it.  It’s not gonna happen.  If you are given 9 hours notice of a departure time, and you STILL are not ready when the wagon is leaving the gate, you may have some kind of problem.  There’s not too much that makes me more irate than being late for something when *I* am ready on time.  Just sayin’.

Gotta run, no time to check for errors – my apologies, I am sure there are some.  Especially because my “D” key still sticks.  🙂

March 11, 2014

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We’ve been changing our eating patterns by using  a new lifestyle diet for diabetes (I don’t wnt to name names) and so far it’s been fairly easy, except for the whole eating every few hours part.  I have the hardest time remembering to eat my “Snacks” between meals.  I”ve never been a breakfast person – but I’m required to eat within an hour of getting up – SO difficult.  We’re on day ten today, and I’ve had real trouble with low blood sugars.  Last night before bed they were 57!  You are required to eat right before bed, as well (and in the middle of the night if you are up) so I decided I had better eat one of my “Carb counters” for my bedtime snack to get my sugars up a bit.

You aren’t supposed to weigh yourself the first eight weeks, but it’s a habit hard to break.  Up until this morning I hadn’t lost any weight, but miraculously, this morning the scale was down four pounds.  Go me!  Four pounds is just a drop in the bucket, an now I am not going to weigh myself again until the first eight weeks is over. 

Yesterday I was mysteriously sick.  Fever, lightheadedness, weak, nauseated, (Is that even a word anymore?  I see so many using “Nauseous” instead) and freezing all day, despite the beautiful outdoor temp of 82 degrees.  (What?  Wordpress doesn’t allow alt symbols now?  Geesh!!)  My sugars were within range, if not a little higher than norm for me (127 was the highest), but I just felt like crap all day.  I just wanted to sleep.  I did nap for an hour before dinner.  I’m feeling a bit better today, though I do believe I am still feverish.

The situation at home is a bit more tolerable. (I think I’ve just resigned myself to the way things are!)   Brock got a job (Security) with a temp post last week/this week.  He just got a call today for a full time position – with medical benefits!  Yay!!  Hopefully they’ll be able to be in their own place in a few months.  I know they won’t be too far, because they want the kids in the same school.  

I’ve been keeping myself busy with making polymer clay jewelery.  I’ll post a picture post of some of my work after I post this one.  I’ve also been knitting/crocheting – and actually have a commission making a scoodie (Scarf and hoodie in one) for a friend of my sister in law, who I sent one to last week.  

 

Owning Up January 8, 2012

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So last night I broke down and joined the Jillian Michaels web site.  I figure maybe if I am paying for it, I might actually stick to it.  So far, from what I’ve read, it’s well put together (What did I expect … it is Jillian Michaels!) and simple to follow.  No, I don’t mean the program itself is simple, I mean it’s easy to know what I am expected to do, what my goals are, how many calories I need to eat, and what exercises to do on each day.

Back tracking a minute, here.  When Blaine and his wife moved out of their apartment a few weeks ago, The Hub and I borrowed their elliptical machine.  I’ve been wanting to try this particular machine (Hint – Youuu cannnn doooo ittttt) before I shelled out the bucks for one.  The first time I got on, a week ago, I could barely do two minutes without feeling like my legs and arms were about to fall off.  I’m SO out of shape.  I do nothing but work, eat and sleep, or collapse on the couch when I do get home from work.  I did about ten minutes total that day, jumping on for two-minute sessions whenever I felt the urge.  It’s gone that way most of the week – except on Friday I actually could stay on for five minutes each time I stepped on.  Progress.  Tiny steps.  Today I actually managed to stay on for 20 minutes!  Go me!  Yesterday was my “Day of rest” because you have to pick two “Off days” for the week.  I would have liked to pick  Tuesdays and Thursdays, the days I actually go in to the office, because I am always tired when I get home, but that wasn’t an option.  I had to pick Tuesdays and Saturdays.  Thursdays would be awesome, though, because I will be starting back to school in a few weeks and my class is on Thursday nights.  Oh well, I will make it work some how.

My food intake is horrible.  I have trouble taking in enough calories.  I’m supposed to be eating around 1200 calories a day, and today I was 737 calories below my goal.  A few years ago I was using “Spark People” to track my exercise and eating, and they’d actually cyber-yell at me with little notes that I was not eating enough.  (As I type I am developing a mild headache, probably from lack of enough calories, but it’s too late in the day for me to eat anything and not have my sugars be totally out of whack at bedtime/in the morning.) 

Anyway, I am owning my weight problem.  I am tired of being FAT and feeling like crap.  I’m not an emotional eater, I’m just a bad eater.  I don’t eat enough, though I don’t feel like I am trying to starve myself.  I just get full very quickly, and tend to forget to eat all together.  There will be days when I have to think very hard to even remember if I had anything for lunch.  I am going to try my hardest to start eating breakfast everyday, even though the morning meal usually makes me severely nauseated.  I did pretty good this week.  I made a batch of low carb waffles using whey protein on Monday, and simply heated one up each morning.  I’m going to try a veggies and egg white omelet tomorrow.  I’ve never been real fond of egg white omelets, but maybe I can stomach one with some veggies thrown in.

Why are weekends so short?  I always have things I need/want to take care of, and I never seem to get much done.  I did manage to get my laundry done this weekend.  I made my Christmas Gift Tag scrapbook pages, paid some bills and got the first floor cleaned up when my boss said he was stopping by Friday night after rounds.  Everything except my desk, which is a disaster area.  It should be condemned. 

When the grandkids found out Doc was stopping by they were so excited.  Pipe said she was going to draw him a picture and Gav said “I could just hug him all day!”  Kids just love him, though you’d think with his size they’d  be intimidated.  He’s a big man – tall and very broad-shouldered.  But he does give the best hugs ever, and the kids must feel like a big ole teddy bear is wrapping them in his arms.  It took me a very long time to get used to his hugs – I’m not all that huggy of a person.  It made me very uncomfortable  (and I did tell him that) but I came to realize it’s just him.  He’s a hugger, and now I am quite used to them.  It all goes back to me being over weight.  I don’t want people feeling my fat when giving me a hug.  I have to know they accept me as I am before I trust them enough to give me bear hugs.  Ugh.  low self-esteem just sucks.

Onward toward a better tomorrow.