Sometimes, You Can’t Turn it Off June 19, 2014Posted by Rusty in Uncategorized.
Tags: appointments, blood sugars, diabetes, dieting, doctors, exercise, health, hip pain, pneumonia, sleeplessness, weight loss
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I slept poorly last night. My mind just would not shut off. Every time I was on the verge of drifting off, my thoughts would wake me up. When I finally did fall asleep, every hour had me waking up to go to the bathroom. I guess that’s one of the consequences of drinking over 128 ounces of water every day.
Anyhoo, my thoughts were troubled. This would be okay if I actually had a reason to be worried. In the throes of sleepiness, though, the mind plays nasty tricks. I had to go in for my bloodwork today, for my diabetes check up on 1 July. I also needed to schedule a mammogram, remember to pick up my insulin at the pharmacy, and also have bloodwork done for Celiac’s Disease for my GI doc. I was afraid I was going to forget something. I hate forgetting things! Yeah, I forgot the paperwork to have my celiac’s bloodwork done. That’s ok, though, I’ll have it done when I go in for my check-up. It’s really not a big deal, even if I had forgotten more than a piece of paper – so I wish I had not been awake all night (wasting my time) worrying. I was almost in a panic, I was so worried. I’m tired!
Normally, my fasting glucose is on the high (Ok, sometimes very high) side. It’s got to do with carb load, and if one does not consume carbs every five hours, your liver will make sure to release about six times as much sugar as your body needs, raising your blood sugar exponentially. This won’t make sense unless you are versed in how diabetes affects your body, but I need to eat a carb before bed, else my sugars will be high in the morning. Because I had to fast for my bloodwork, I couldn’t eat my nightly carb, and was therefore concerned about how high my sugars would be this morning. To my surprise, they were actually very low this morning. Too low. Eat something right away, low. I was shocked. Even when I tested upon arriving home, they were only 81. Because my sugars were so very low, I was weary of driving to the hospital. I was so shaky. (I just wanted a cup of coffee!!) I made it there in one piece, but of course forgot to bring my snack, to jump up my sugars after my lab work. It sucks being forgetful!
I’m so anxious to get my lab results. We’ve been on this new eating lifestyle since February. Hub’s HbA1c dropped a full point at his last appointment, two weeks ago. I’m hoping to do as well with my own HbA1c. I don’t think I will drop a whole point, like he did, but I am expecting a drop, nonetheless.
I’m still walking, and I’ve surpassed the three mile mark each day. Yay! On Tuesday I actually jogged a short distance, twice, during my walk, I not only increased my distance, but decreased my time. Yesterday was a very difficult walk. I woke with hip pain, and was unsure I would even be able to get out the door. Then, as I put on my walking shoes (which are, by the way, literally falling apart at the seams now) I discovered a blister, which my shoe so conveniently rubbed open. It’s amazing to me, such a little bitty thing can hurt so dang much! I walked anyway. I walked through the pain in my hips, and that of my toe. I increased my distance, too. I paid for it dearly later that evening, though. I could barely get up off my chair! The muscles in my legs were so tight. I’ve been doing warm up and cool down stretches. I’m not sure what else to do.
I think I’m going to attempt all handmade gifts for Christmas this year. (Mostly knitting or hand made jewelry) and I need to get started on the knitting. I have the yarn, and the patterns – I just need to get going. I’ve currently got two works on the needles, though, big projects, and I’d like to finish at least one of them before I start another.
Rant o’ the Day:
It’s about me, all about me, this time. I’m sick
to death of going to the doctor. Since January, I have had more than 29 doctor/dentist visits (Admittedly, only one to the dentist). I stopped counting at 29, and that was in early May. Podiatry, GI docs, Vascualar surgeon appts, general appts (Diabetes, numerous for pneumonia), x-rays, lab work, It’s not going to end anytime soon, either. I have three scheduled in July, already. One in August. One in October. I need my dental cleaning, so that will be thrown in the mix, too. The thing is – I’m generally healthy! Aside from the pnuemonia, I haven’t been sick at all! They are yearly check-ups that turn into multiple procedures (The whole venous insufficiency procedures thing.) Why do I have to be such a medical mess? Why have I been so loyal to this new eating lifestyle that is supposed to normalize your blood sugars and allow you to lose weight? My sugars are wackadoodle. I lost weight on the first phase, but 6 weeks in to the second phase I have not lost any weight. I have not cheated, not even one tiny bit. I exercise at least five days a week – even through the pneumonia, I only missed two days – one because it was an extremely high pollution day and those with lung conditions were advised to stay indoors, the other was at the height of my pneunmonia and I simply could not breathe that day. I have worked harder, adding speed, hand weights, distance – and I see no pay off. I’m seriously afraid to mention my hip pain to my doc, because I a.) I don’t want to start another round of visits to a new doctor b.) I am afraid of what the problem really is. It could be as simple as needing a new mattress, or arthritis – but what if it’s something like my hip is disintigrating? Ugh. It wouldn’t be something simple with me, it never is. Even my mother says I’m “Medically difficult, and always have been.” Sigh. By the way, I highly doubt I have Celiac’s disease. I just did fourteen weeks wheat/grain free, and my symptoms were still the same. More unnecessary tests. Why can’t doctors just LISTEN to their patients? I told her this, yet I still have to be tested. Double sigh. Rant over.
I’m going back to eating my seaweed snack now. I’m undecided if I like it or not. It tastes kinda fishy, but I like the seaweed taste. I love that it’s only one carb. Heh.
I’m SO Over It April 29, 2014Posted by Rusty in Uncategorized.
Tags: Angry, bitter, diabetes, exercise, family, Grandchildren, pneumonia, resentful, stressed, walking, weight loss
I’m tired of feeling bitter, resentful and angry. I don’t know how to change it, without moving out until my house is guest free. Being this way is not my norm, and it’s wearing me down.
I’m so over trying to make other people happy, helping and providing. I spent more money than I should have buying clothes for my granddaughter’s birthday. Her birthday was nearly three weeks ago, and only once has she worn any of the nice clothes I bought her. I’m documenting this here – I WILL NEVER BUY HER CLOTHES AGAIN. EVER. I’m plumb out of desire to waste my money. OK, i’m a horrid person for refusing to provide clothing, but why spend the cash if the clothes are relegated to the far end of the closet by my daughter in law? Ugh!
I’m hard pressed to be excited about the grandchild on the way. I feel badly about that, but at this point in time, it only means yet another person being brought into the house. The Hub doesn’t really want me to buy anything for the new wee one, either. He said “We already set up his first two kids.” It really ires us that this whole situation was not well thought out at all. The actions of our son effect not only him, his new wife and children, but the rest of the family, as well. He’s constantly needing rides here or there, and to work. He has no spare money to buy anything for this baby, or INSURANCE for prenatal care. The damn immigration paperwork was costly at over seventeen hundred dollars, which they had to take out a “Loan” with a credit card. Her temporary visa expired on the 24th, but supposedly as long as her immigration papers are submitted by that date, she’s OK. Why did it take six months to submit those???
Who the hell is going to pay for the birth of their child???
On to other things.
I had a diabetic check up on the 4th of the month. All was well there, my HbA1c dropped another few tenths of a point, and I was even taken off one of my diabetes meds. On that date, I had lost 8 pounds from being on this diabetic diet we are on, but I was also fairly ill with a hacking cough, which occured every time I took a breath. The doc was more concerned about my O2 sats being 91 than my diabetes, I think. She ordered a chest x-ray, gave me a breathing treatment (Which only made my O2 sats drop) and sent me on my way. Seven days later I got a call from her nurse saying I had pneumonia, and please come get a script waiting on me at the pharmacy. Why did it take a week to notify me??? This was Thursday night at almost 5 pm, and I had EVLT scheduled for my right leg at 8 am Friday morning, When I got to the vascular surgeon’s office, they canceled the procedure due to the pneumonia. (Sigh) The left leg was scheduled for the following Friday, and I did have that done. (May I just say O.U.C.H.) So, yesterday I went back to the doc for my follow up, and I still have pneumonia!! Another chest xray, some labwork, and more meds. Oh, and I lost 8 more pounds!
I’m still walking every week day morning. I love being outdoors! There are some really awesome birds at the park, too! A great blue heron, and a water fowl I saw this morning that I need to research – it was beautiful!