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It’s Too Damn Hot to Walk … June 24, 2014

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…but I did anyway.  Ninety six degrees at seven a.m.  Yesterday was just as steamy, but I actually increased my distance and decreased my time by more than two minutes!  I had a coffee date with my BBF (Best boy [that’s a] friend) and I got a later start than I had planned on (Procrastination much?) so I pushed myself fairly hard.  I felt pretty good afterwards, and really good after my cool shower.  Today I only did a little over two miles, instead of nearly 3,5 miles.  I was having trouble breathing (Allergies) and my hips were hurting.

The “Coffee date” was fun.  I brought over a low carb coconut cake (That is FABULOUS, btw) for them to enjoy later. (They live the low carb lifestyle, too.  I wasn’t forcing low carb goodies on them.)   We caught up on all the gossip, moaned and complained about other things, and laughed.  I so love to laugh!  I miss having girls that are friends to laugh with.

I went over to visit with my daughter in law in the evening.  What an eye opener.  We discussed my current adult female housemate (Clearing throat) and the not-so-nice things she has said about me.  One for instance:  Very shortly after she moved into our home AFTER WE INSISTED SHE COULD NOT LIVE HERE, she began throwing things away.  Cleaning the kids’ room – and tossing everything in sight.  My mother happens to buy the girl children very expensive, beautiful clothing, and has asked that they be passed down to the other girl children in the family, because they really are quite lovely and worthy of being passed on.  Well, I got upset when I saw some of those clothes in her “Give to charity” bags.  I voiced my opinion.  You don’t come uninvited into someone’s home and start chucking things out, and I don’t care if you are the Queen of England, it’s NOT RIGHT.  She told my DIL “She gets so upset about things, and I don’t know why.  She only cares about the clothes that she bought – They were old clothes, and USED” (With disgust in her voice.) – which did not sit well with my DIL, because she buys the majority of her daughter’s clothes used, from thrift stores.  Some of them still have the price tag on them, so what’s wrong with that, I ask??  This is a complete and utter mistruth, as it was not the (Ahem, NEW) clothes *I* bought for my granddaughter I was worried about, it was the clothes my mother bought.  Get your facts straight before you start a-bitchin’!!    Argh.  I’m not so sure I even like her, but this, and other info I got, is the icing on the cake.  Have fun buying your new infant clothing, because I certainly won’t be helping you with that. Neither will my mother, after she heard the above story, she also stated she would no longer be buying clothes for the children.  (I told my mom what happened soon after it occurred – I did not call her last night and tattle the story.)  There were other things said, too, that leads me to believe she is a rather deceptive person, and is fond of blowing smoke up people’s asses for entertainment.  We’ll see how far that gets you, princess.  Blow all the smoke you want, I now have my anti-smoke blower in place.  Heh.

Four days until (Maybe three if they leave on Friday – I am not privy to the information, I only get bits and pieces) we get our house back, cause they are moving on out.   We are so excited.  We’ll whisper to each other “__Number of__ days” and have giggle fits.  It’s going to be like a honeymoon for us.  After 30+ years of marriage we’ll finally be living alone!  It’s a damn good thing we get along.  Hahaha!  I asked The Hub if he had been asked to help move them out, and he said he hadn’t.  I haven’t either, and said I wasn’t so sure I would volunteer my time.  The Hub said “I will, if it gets them out of here faster.”  Please don’t misunderstand.  We love our children, with all our hearts and souls, we just don’t want to live with them any longer.  We feel very taken advantage of in this particular situation.  Moving a stranger into our home is not easy, especially a female stranger.  I’m not such ball of fun when forced to do something I am averse to.   I also don’t play well with others in my kitchen.  I acknowledge, and own, that I have not made things easy for this houseguest.  I didn’t want her to be here.  Yep, I have been a bitch at times.  My DIL said last night that my kitchen is the heart of our home, and that I spend many hours there doing what I love to do – cooking, trying new low carb recipes, even my crafting involves use of the kitchen.  To be unable to utilize my own home due to someone else being in my kitchen for literally hours on end has not been a pleasant experience.  I am so very, very ready to start this next, new phase of our lives.  Heaven forbid they can’t make it out on their own.  They won’t be welcome back, sad to say.

I’m still on that ugly plateau of weight loss.  I literally cannot eat any less, as I don’t eat a whole lot as it is.  I eat my required number of carbs per day (One carb serving per meal, one before bed) along with as much protein as I can manage to stuff down my gullet.  I drink well over 64 ounces of water per day.  I only have a diet soda once or twice a month.  I am pushing myself in the exercise department, too.  Why this never-ending plateau??  I’m tired of being stuck.  I’m not giving up, I’m just frustrated.  Any suggestions??  Could I not be eating enough?

Rant O’ the Day:
I don’t think one should spend hours on end declaring someone “Ugly” and “Fat,” especially if the declaring is being done to someone who is obese and, in my case, not so lovely to look at, either.  Saying “Not fat like you, you have curves” is not an acceptable qualifier.  I’m FAT.  I know it, I don’t try to deny it, and I am MUCH heavier than the person you are calling fat!!  Like … one of me is equal to two of her.  Look, if you “Don’t want to talk about her” because “It upsets me too much,” then don’t bring up the subject.  Really, you have no right to speak about her, anyway.  She was before your time.  She’s never “Done” anything to you.  You’ve never even met her.  You didn’t live the life – we all did, when she was in our lives.  When those around you are trying to change the subject, and do so successfully, don’t return to the subject time and time again.  Your insecurities are showing.  In all their nakedness, they are showing.  It’s not very flattering.  Yes, NONE of us like her.  None of us like to talk about her.  STOP TALKING ABOUT HER!!   Until the time that we become perfect, let’s not talk about those who are imperfect.  Thank you.  That is all.

 

 

 

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Oh Em Gee! Ther’s a Light at the End of the Tunnel! June 12, 2014

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First things first!  Our son finally got his license, AND a CAR!  Woo Hoo!!!!  This overjoys me.  Nearly brings me to my knees when I think about it.  I thank my Maker every day for this good fortune!  Secondly – they found an apartment!  They get the keys in a few weeks.  We are nearly giddy with the simple thought of it.  I have no idea how they are going to get along – with no dishes, pots, pans, furniture … etc.  Not my problem, I suppose.  I am SO HAPPY it is not my problem.  Go love them all, but I am just ready, so very, very ready to be an empty nester!

Onward.

So, I’ve still been exercising every week day morning.  Just the last two days I have increased my “Mileage” by nearly a mile!  It’s so freaking hot out, though.  When it’s 96º at seven a.m., you know it’s going to be a little rough.  I carry a 64 oz jug with me (Not only provides a much needed liquid refreshment, but a bit of an arm work-out, as well!) and this morning I drank the whole thing on my walk.  Here’s my problem.  My hips hurt so badly after every walk – all day, until I go to bed, and even then, sometimes, the pain won’t let me sleep or wakes me up.  I was trying to think of a way to describe it other than “My legs hurt,” so I can ask my Doc about it at my diabetes check next month, and I realized it isn’t a “Work-out hurt,” like, my muscles ache.  It’s my joints.  Mainly my hips, but I can feel some pelvic pain, as well.  I’ve not researched it at all, YET, but I need to.  I need to find out how to alleviate the pain, before my mind starts telling me not working out is better than living in pain. 

I haven’t lost any more weight, but my clothes continue to get bigger.  Must be something in the wash water stretching them out.  Heh.  Certainly couldn’t be me getting any smaller.  🙂 

As for the diet/exercise helping out the blood sugars – why must everything about me medically be such a mystery?!  The Hub’s HbA1c dropped a WHOLE point!!  He’s down in the “You’re doing excellent, we might take you off your drugs” range.  I go have my blood test next week for my appointment in early July, but my sugars are just as wacky as ever.  Exercise is supposed to make your sugars drop.  Nope.  Not me.  Mine actually rise.  Eating these very, very low carb servings is supposed to regulate your sugars.  Oh, boy.  Not me.  I range from way too low (57 this morning) to way too high 2 hours after a meal (160’s).  Some days are good.  Some days I fall just under the radar, and it makes me happy, but other days really suck!!  I had better results eating more carbs (We can have one carb serving , i.e. between 11-20 grams of carbs per meal) with other rules and restrictions about between meal snacks that I won’t go into right now.  Though I have eaten lower carb since I found out I had diabetes 10+ years ago, I was eating a few more carbs per day, and my sugars were lower.  My doc took me off one of my meds, though, and it’s been very difficult to fly within the limits of where my glucose readings should be.  It’s very strange, too, that one day I will do fine with a certain carb, yet another day I can eat the very same thing, and the sugars just soar above and beyond the “Cap.”  I just don’t get it!  It’s really discouraging, too, because this is the first diet I have ever been on (EVER) that I have not cheated, not even once!  I’m following the rules precisely, yet I don’t get the results promised.  The Hub does …. but I don’t.  Many times I have just wanted to give up, but I stick it out, hoping my body will finally realize the correct way to react.  Maybe.  Right? 

We’re going to take a little road trip in a few weeks to go see a dear friend of mine while she’s on a road trip to New Mexico.  She’s an “Online friend” but I’ve known her about 17 years.  OMG.  17 years.  I feel like I have already met her!  She’s got a court date for an accident that happened six years ago, and she’s nervous.  So we’re going to go and hold her hand and do some sight seeing.  Photo ops!  I’m too excited bout that aspect of it.  We need to get away.

OK, I know you’ve been waiting for it.  The bitchy rant.  Here it is, I don’t aim to disappoint!

If you need to be somewhere at eight a.m., leaving the house at ten minutes past eight isn’t going to get you there on time.  Any time you do it.  It’s not gonna happen.  If you are given 9 hours notice of a departure time, and you STILL are not ready when the wagon is leaving the gate, you may have some kind of problem.  There’s not too much that makes me more irate than being late for something when *I* am ready on time.  Just sayin’.

Gotta run, no time to check for errors – my apologies, I am sure there are some.  Especially because my “D” key still sticks.  🙂

I’m SO Over It April 29, 2014

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I’m tired of feeling bitter, resentful and angry.  I don’t know how to change it, without moving out until my house is guest free.  Being this way is not my norm, and it’s wearing me down. 

I’m so over trying to make other people happy, helping and providing.  I spent more money than I should have buying clothes for my granddaughter’s birthday.  Her birthday was nearly three weeks ago, and only once has she worn any of the nice clothes I bought her.   I’m documenting this here – I WILL NEVER BUY HER CLOTHES AGAIN.  EVER.  I’m plumb out of desire to waste my money.  OK, i’m a horrid person for refusing to provide clothing, but why spend the cash if the clothes are relegated to the far end of the closet by my daughter in law?  Ugh!

I’m hard pressed to be excited about the grandchild on the way.  I feel badly about that, but at this point in time, it only means yet another person being brought into the house.  The Hub doesn’t really want me to buy anything for the new wee one, either.  He said “We already set up his first two kids.”  It really ires us that this whole situation was not well thought out at all.  The actions of our son effect not only him, his new wife and children, but the rest of the family, as well.  He’s constantly needing rides here or there, and to work.  He has no spare money to buy anything for this baby, or INSURANCE for prenatal care.  The damn immigration paperwork was costly at over seventeen hundred dollars, which they had to take out a “Loan” with a credit card.  Her temporary visa expired on the 24th, but supposedly as long as her immigration papers are submitted by that date, she’s OK.  Why did it take six months to submit those??? 

Who the hell is going to pay for the birth of their child???

On to other things.

I had a diabetic check up on the 4th of the month.  All was well there, my HbA1c dropped another few tenths of a point, and I was even taken off one of my diabetes meds.  On that date, I had lost 8 pounds from being on this diabetic diet we are on, but I was also fairly ill with a hacking cough, which occured every time I took a breath.  The doc was more concerned about my O2 sats being 91 than my diabetes, I think.  She ordered a chest x-ray, gave me a breathing treatment (Which only made my O2 sats drop) and sent me on my way.  Seven days later I got a call from her nurse saying I had pneumonia, and please come get a script waiting on me at the pharmacy.   Why did it take a week to notify me??? This was Thursday night at almost 5 pm, and I had EVLT scheduled for my right leg at 8 am Friday morning,  When I got to the vascular surgeon’s office, they canceled the procedure due to the pneumonia.  (Sigh)  The left leg was scheduled for the following Friday, and I did have that done.  (May I just say O.U.C.H.)  So, yesterday I went back to the doc for my follow up, and I still have pneumonia!!  Another chest xray, some labwork, and more meds.  Oh, and I lost 8 more pounds!

I’m still walking every week day morning.  I love being outdoors!  There are some really awesome birds at the park, too!  A great blue heron, and a water fowl I saw this morning that I need to research – it was beautiful!